CAPTAIN BATTERY'S COCKPITFrom the Color Dream Hyper Force
♫ Now Playing: 'Theme for Xarxax VII' by Brian Goldfield ♫
I was at home on another night skunked up at home on the couch, exploring my mind through the fruits of cherished night-time sci-fi marathon television. I hungered for another pound of Nubson's Chocolate-filled Cherry Blast Bitlets. Making the journey across my exotic and finely-rugged apartment, passing the signed, framed portrait of my beautiful Xebulon, the warrior princess of Xarxax VII, I was hit with a wave of love or a cosmic ray or a moon ray, and I fell over. I don't know what happened next, or how long I was out, but when I woke, my head was stuck all the way inside that microwave with settings to HIGH. It took all of my roommates 2 hours to wrench my head free from the machine that had me so tight in its grasp.
The eternal high-powered spin of glory
But ever since the fated incident I have never slept the same. Like the lights of Xebulon and her divine cosmic rays, the colors blast my eyes ass I drift into the night. It was at this moment I realised I was born for something greater. The calling I had been waiting for that I knew would appear when I needed it the most was finally here.
During my sleep sessions I have seen colors you couldn’t even imagine. I've already begun naming them:
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Im no fool. I immediately attempted to patent the colors, to protect the powers with which I have had thrust upon me. But every damn lawyer in the state told me i was crazy and that it would never work.
thats why i knew i had to do something about it myself. It was time to take matters into my own hands and rend my fate as I knew it to be.
Over a clandestine meeting I have shared the secret with my five closest roommates and now...
If I don’t get my money I will unleash my powers, and my army of fellow super mutants upon the country.
Already we are hard at work legally purchasing all the microwaves in the regional area. There is not a single microwave cooking machine that is safefrom our righteous cause!
When successful we plan to use the money for these purposes:
We have complete mastery of our minds and bodies. Our training is intense and slowly we are becoming unstoppable. Large Don has already won 7 grand slam turbo-fests at our rec centre, and Tommy the Soup can rig a microwave to do things you wouldnt even dream of.
With our new powers we also go out and we get charged up from the microwaves and we hit the clubs and meet ladies. Our pwoers also made us irresistable to ALL women, just like all the other superheroes.
Captain Battery was our champion ladies man (See his page below!). he could charge up like nobody else could and the ladies loved him and his cosmic micro wave action, but now he's on the bench until he cures up
Now no ladies will talk to him on account of his skin glows too bad(it freaks them out (the ladies)). The whole club lights up and makes it real hard to see anyone but Captain Battery. At every dance club we go to the lighting technicians keep kicking him out for ruining their jobs. They say nobody can see any good and he ruins the atmosphere with his cosmic wavey glow. (One time a lighting guy even tried to get us kicked out from Crunchtown, but Large Don knows Triple Barry so it was never gonna happen like that)
We have sent this website to every representative that we could find, and are preparing to print millions of copies downtown so that the people of the world can know who we are. Good luck!!
Come find us!
We'll be waiting!
Sincerestly,
Color Dream Hyper Force
TO GLORY! TO XARXAX!